finally

As I say constantly interupted isn't the half of it
I was just about ready to get the blog compost up (typo? maybe LoL) and what does it do comes in the room no kidding it drives me nuts it of course is the big hairy snoring thing currently in the bedroom, no not the dog the dog is outside barking of course because next doors kids are kicking the football agains't the fence again
So between the hairy thing snoring and the hairy thing barking its fairly quiet around here at the moment ..hence the blog of course can't do nothing (double negative oops sorry ..can't do anything) otherwize

What was I going to say now ummmm oh yeah thats right the dream from last night
I dreamt that my daughter died but was still living with us as a ghost (no not a zombie geeze I watch the movies don't dream of them) I actually woke up crying balling my eyes out crying, don't think I've ever done that before cried in my sleep yes but not woken myself up.
Wasn't crying because she died and was a ghost, she was quite happy as a ghost kept floating up to the ceiling and floating around on tops of cabinets and things, being a ghost wasn't a problem for her or me I was crying because I don't have another baby .. she's my baby
Having her with me was fine I could hold her and cuddle her so that was fine she wasn't a whispy go right through you ghost, oh and I did know it was a dream I was wearing my pajamas so yeah you know its a dream when you are wearing Pj's unless you wear Pj's all the time its a dream.
So yeah anyway woke up crying freaky flipping dream when you wake up doing what you are doing in the dream ... ever dream you are eating marshmallows and your pillow is missing? Old joke LoL thought I'd throw that one in.

Really though I do miss her it would be nice to have her around, she's like me well ok she's like her great granma same name same sillyness my son has her sense of humour Ellie has the straight out( she thinks it she says it) personality of my granma I've got both hehehe
Ellie will tell you straight out if she thinks it's wrong quiet normally but if she's got something to say she don't keep it in doesn't even have to be words she just gives you a "look" exact same look as my granma would give someone used to freak me out when she did it as a little kid and my mother arggh LoL spooked her it really did
See I knew even before she was born that she was going to be a girl, no tests or nothing I just knew and even though I was going to call her Elizabeth when she was born she was Eleanor and that was it.
So she has an old fashioned name just like I do, most Eleanors are older above 60, most of Ellie's friends are Sams and Jasmines most Frances are over 80 all my school friends are Kims and Robins. One name was so popular in the town I lived in before that you could call it out and get 20 women all the same age ... very confusing.
Normally you can tell how old someone is by thier name Joans are 60+ (common name in the 40's) Kylies are 25+ (common in the 80's blame Kylie Minouge for that one) but Ellie and me we have old fashioned names, oh yeah my son does too most Bruces here in Australia are over 70 Bruce knows a lot of Toms by the way (was a Tom who broke his nose on our glass door) but thats another story.

Anyway fed the dog, fed the bird and now I'm going to feed me, the hairy snoring thing can feed himself ... he's house trained as well you want him?

Dreams

I'm into dream interpretations and sometimes I can interpret my own dreams sometimes though I have weirdo ones that don't make any sence at all
Like the one I had this morning,
Everyone else was having babies, all of my friends where pregnant or allready had thier babies mine I had to hide it, get rid of it my X made me do that in the dream.
Anyway later on I found the baby and gave it CPR and brought it back to life but it grew really fast and was like 6 months old even though it should have been new born and no one believed that it was my baby and I'd just had it.

Now I know that a baby in a dream can be a project and as everyone else had a baby as well but no one belived that I had one or it was mine, I'm guessing I'm worried about something that some people don't believe that it's me doing it.
Something had to hide that I was doing it at first but later on when when I brought it back to life no one believed that it's my thing what ever the thing is.

Spose now I'll have to see if I can go over the dream re-enter it and see, did you know you can do that?
You can go back the next night and re-dream that same dream knowing that you are dreaming and ask questions might not get the answers you want and they might not be understandable but you can re-dream the same dream
Once I understood I could do that I stopped dreaming the same "search" dream over and over, I actually used to dream of this long tube thing with a door at the end that when I would get to the door handle and try to open it to get to the "next stage" so to speak, the door handle and door would go further away, frustrating as heck but you know I finally did open the door.
Was a relevation in my life once I realized what the search dream was about I knew when I dreamt it the next time what it was about and was able to open the door... what happened when I opened it? I woke up haven't had that dream since.

Normally I dream of houses (home, myself, self improvement and hidden thoughts) and I've dreamt I was driving think I was actually driving at the time though, babies are new.

PS. I stuffed up my page it's not your eyes it's me, had a problem with the top header pic couldn't remove the one I was testing and had to re-do the whole template and lost stuff off it so sorry about that .. gotta fix it but I'll do it tomorrow now I'm going to dream that baby dream again and see what the flip it's all about.