Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Friday, July 27, 2007

Of Pens and Love

Of pens and Love .. January 21, 2007
Why is it that every single pen in the whole house is empty, I write two or three words and the words just disappear
We have a huge cloth pencil case bursting at the seams with pens I went through them all yesterday only a few worked, the ones that did where placed on my desk, on MY desk because with my memory I have too write little notes or I forget. Anyway today when I reach for a pen yet again I had too try five of them before I found one that worked by that time I'd almost forgotten what I was going too write down

Very nice pen it is too for once my writing looks neat, no I haven't forgotten how too actually scribe with pen on paper and I do spell better when I write that way it must be this dyslectic keyboard one problem the ink is a tiny bit light so I can only just read what I've written





Anyway here is what I wrote with my pen that worked

Love, what is love, a feather a fluffy cloud, an abstract feeling, soft too ephemeral too hold in your hand
love cannot be held, cannot be caged or held within four walls
can we love a car more than a person? Or is it just the unconditionally of the machine who doesn’t care what we look like in the morning that we love

The security of the steel, that cocoon that never talks back is that what we love
Always there for you never leaving only taking you too places where you want too go, totally under your control, never leading you somewhere where you don’t want too go
Can you love your car? Is it wrong too love a machine an inanimate object
I happen too love my car it's my safety place


Besides I happen too love driving too

This car of mine is my third car, my first an old Mk2 Cortina literally held together with wire coat hangers didn’t love me back but my dad loved working on it and he did all the time that was the car who’s gear stick fell off in my hand while I was driving into the driveway.

My second car my Renault 12 with it’s leather interior and fancy (for 1975) dashboard called too me, from a very small car lot in a part of Adelaide we didn’t normally go, I was meant too have that car, we weren’t meaning too stop there and the road we where on wasn’t one we normally went on but for some reason I just yelled out “stop” too my mother who was driving and there across the road in the tiniest car yard with only 4 or 5 other cars was this funny looking green car, I looked at the other Renault there, a station wagon cream colored, much more practical but I had too sit in the green one and as soon as I did I knew if I didn’t ask my mother for the extra $500 too buy it, it would probably follow us home anyway, it may have been green and it didn’t have a racing stripe or a number painted on it nor was it a Volkswagen but that car was Herbie, it loved me I loved it back I cried when we traded it in for the one I have now

The one I have now isn’t my funny green car but it is my safety place I do love it, not as much as the other one (shh don’t tell it that, it will have a flat battery on me or something) but I do love my grey grumpy car
bernadis.jpg

For the 360 Writers

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A Friend

I type these straight into the compose box you realize I dont Word them up so if there is a spelling mistake or a typo blame my fingers

I come here when it's quiet you know I can't concentrate otherwise by the time I've checked everyone elses pages and my email as much as I get and get logged into here "it" is awake then when he goes back to lie down again I'm too busy commenting to even think of something to write so I end up not doing anything at all
I don't want this page to be "fluff" this really is me
I'm shy, I dont get close to people yeah sure I make them laugh but I don't get close don't trust too many too many let downs in the past I had this really fantastic online friend used to talk to her every night had her on MSN as well when I used it before it went to windows live ** rollings eyes ** and now she is gone had a pile of computer problems and I've not seen her for ages.
I got close didn't I and she went away, all the time that happens to me everytime I get close to someone something happens and I never speak to them again
It was the same with Sharon I was close to her in High School very close if you know what I mean only she liked boys so yeah we didn't go that way I hid "those" kinda feelings from her she never knew, we had this big fight she thought that I was out to steal her boyfriend only wouldn't tell me that or I would have told her it was her I wanted dammit not him
You know I didn't talk to her for years I met her sister, twin sister mind you they are identical but don't look alike never did Joanne was always a little scruffier than Sharon anyway I get this phone call from Joanne between christmas and new year in 1990 telling me that thier older sister had died (in her sleep on christmas day, ashma attack)
I held Sharons hand so tight at Bronwyns funeral that I allmost cut off her circulation I don't know what upset me more the funeral itself or seeing the half dozen people that I hadn't seen since HighSchool or just being able to hold her hand.

Spose you want to see Sharon?
She's right in the middle behind the sign, and no I'm not on that pic I was in a different home class, don't have any of mine at all my mother wouldn't buy the class pics when I was in High School for some reason only the single ones of me.

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