Email to my mother

Mum you said to me once ‘we’ll have to get something done about those teeth’ to me, which of course you were prone to do, just straight out say something like that.
Anyway I have, took a while but I can smile now yes ok so my top teeth are at the moment not in my face but in a container in the bathroom, bottom set are in my face though they sit nice in fact had a hard time getting them out at first thought they was stuck forever took me almost an hour to work out how to get them out.

The top ones rub a bit still so that’s why I don’t have them in at the moment, three or four hours is all I can manage for now.

You won’t see me without them in though, just like any day getting ready involves brushing of hair, stick the earrings in, make sure there isn't any strange pimples or anything on my face, stick the teeth in, put the shoes on and off I go out the door.

Its nice to actually chew things now, before I couldn't chew hardly at all even with my own teeth or what was left of them, most were broken and if I did try to chew something I’d break another, one broke once when I ate a banana.

Hundreds of dollars were spent on my teeth too, numerous times at the dentist putting in those horrible amalgam dark fillings that actually weighed quite a bit too, wasn't until they started falling out in shiny metal lumps that I realised that my bottom jaw was weighed down with quite a few grams of metal, no wonder I walked around with my mouth open.

So any way mum I can smile now, properly smile now I have my new pegs , oh and you wont believe this the dentist who is really nice is called Dr Baker but he’s not the same Dr Baker from Adelaide this is a different one who kinda reminds me of Uncle C

Got more to tell you but will leave that for later, say hello to all the dogs and the superior siameezers and to the rest of the family including dad, who I know are watching over me specially grandma who’s got her thumb in her mouth ... don’t go telling me she don’t I KNOW she does J

PS. my mother wont ever reply to an email now not in the conventional sense but that doesn't mean I can't write to her

too ball or not to ball this is the question

I can’t stand attention seekers, whiney whinging all the time about how “sick” they are or “how much pain” they are in a Dr Smith voice.

Like no one else in the world is as sick as they are, on their death bed moaning and crying on Monday but miraculously up and about at the theme park on Wednesday come on.

Then  there are the ones that are on a health ‘thing’ yet are perpetually drinking alcohol and then of course you get the “ohhhh I feel sick” the next day, funny that hmmm I wonder why?

Really you’d think some of the folks on Facebook are alcoholics dying of some terrible disease that’s when they aren't playing games till 3am and complaining that they can’t sleep.

Meh, I can’t sleep without pain killers had  migraine ‘stars’ earlier on as well but I don’t whine about it.

Yeah sure its midnight here and I’m typing this, my back between my shoulder blades is killing me BUT I did mow the lawn and trim bushes today and dig a garden bed yesterday, got a dentist appointment tomorrow and working at Vinnes on Thursday.

Next door neighbour is being an arrogant antagonistic thingy [naughty bad word] again but not to us this time to the neighbours on the other side of him, saying they are stealing his kids balls (same as he said we was) same balls that come flying over the fence at regular intervals, no names on them which we throw back.

Only some get lost in the process hence they are in his eyes “stolen”

What I really want to do is get everyone in the Cul-de-sac to buy a few tennis balls and throw them on his lawn maybe a few thrown by passing cars into the backyard, Now that would be funny, not for us though because even though there possibly would be a few dozen balls it would be us that would get the blame for it, we’d get the police called out on us because well he didn’t have any balls so some nice people gave him some.

Wouldn’t be Balls to the Wall it would be balls on his lawn hehehe

And at that because I can feel my head starting to throb I will post this and take two aspro and see you in the morning.

Give away

I like dogs, like them more than people they don’t have to talk back, you can tell them anything, they keep you warm at night and eat your table scraps. Keep the cats out of the yard and the evil menacing car headlights and lawnmowers get barked at. They do fun things like leave squeaky toys where you will step on them and track muddy paw prints over your freshly washed floor.

It makes me sad though when I see all these beautiful dogs looking for homes, up for adoption.

You say why sad? Because I see folks saying things like this “look at our new puppy” and then again maybe six months later ”look at our new puppy” and I ask them what happened to the last one, "oh it wasn’t cute any more” “was being a nuisance” or “it got Parvo and died”

Makes me so sad, would you dump your child at the local hospital when it wasn’t cute anymore? Would you give your child to someone else because it peed on the floor or broke something it shouldn’t have? Do you not immunise your child?

Would you tie your elderly parent to a pole outside a nursing home just because they are too old to care for?

I know a few people just like that no sense of responsibility for anything, a new mobile phone or a tattoo is more important than a one off trip to the Vet for a Parvo needle that costs less than $30.

Watching Home and Away or X Factor is more important than taking the dog for a walk or throwing it a ball.

Do some research before you get a dog or any animal for that matter, what do they need can you because it will be you not the kids, feed it, wash and groom it and take it to the Vet?

Please, don’t just get a dog because it’s a cute puppy or the latest film had that kind of dog in it, get a stuffed toy those are cute, don’t have to feed them or anything and when it gets boring you can shove it in a corner and forget about it.

Always got me when that movie Beethoven came out people went and got St Bernard puppies, around 6-8 months after that film came out the shelters where full of St Bernard’s, like are you serious? Didn’t they watch the film at all? That dog caused more damage than a bull dozer, drooled everywhere dug its self out of the tiny yard it was enclosed in and went wondering by itself , some people are just mindless really they are.

Red Dog (it’s a movie) is the same that’s why there are so many Kelpies in shelters on death row, mind you they KILL them in some of those places

Yes Red Dog is smart and loyal but watch the movie, not smart enough to not eat poison (Vet bill there) and wonders around all over the place (council fine for unregistered wondering dog) the two dogs that play the part went through a pile of training too, you don’t just magically get a dog that can do those things it has to be trained even the stupid compared to a Kelpie, St Bernard in Beethoven had to be trained.

My current dog was given to us, free for nothing, she’s dug holes (to China) peed on the floor, pulled the toilet paper off the roll, barks at all and sundry and sheds mountains of hair.

She’s cost us a few hundred dollars in Vet bills and a few times we ran out of money didn’t have enough food for ourselves so the dog had rice as that was all we had to feed her.

I wouldn’t give her away though, she can be a pain sometimes but wouldn’t give her up she’s going to be eleven at the end of this year, getting old now, still wouldn’t dump her anywhere, she’s comfortable here in HER chair that no one else would want to sit in.

If I was going to write up her adoption bio it would read like this.

Micro chipped, registered, de-sexed and vaccinated she walks well on the lead.

Ice is a Stumpy Tail Cattle Dog, loves people, will chase a ball but doesn’t bring it back very well, even though she’s older she still likes to play tug. Does not like cats or small dogs, does not like wheels or being crated. Loves rides in the car (you will need ear plugs for that) as she is very vocal this dog can bark for 2000ks nonstop.

Ice likes all and any foods, chips are her favourite, will wait for signal to eat.

Up for adoption because (insert excuse here)

No you can’t have my dog, not giving her away I care for animals which is why I get so sad when I see bio’s like that, some people just don’t care at all they are under-educated about dogs about costs about breeds, about what some dogs need.

A dog does NOT need to be:

·        A status symbol

·        A fashion accessory

·        A souvenir from the latest film

·        Left in the back yard for days on end

·        Have people be scared of it

·        Be chained or tied up all the time

·        Just plain old abandoned

·        The “cute” accessory or talking point

·        Having puppies every year (eg your salary)

·        A xmas present for the kids

A few of those equal to a STUFFED toy, get one of  those instead!

 Please don’t get a dog unless you have at least 15 years of time to spend with it.

Your excuse of “moving can’t take it” or “kids won’t look after it” is baseless because I can bet you took your TV with you when you moved and the kids school backpack’s neither of which the kids look after ...do they ??

Followers

Apparently I have six followers here ... yeah I know thats NOT a lot
anyway Blogger wont tell me who they are
Is one of them you?
It is isn't it I know you are there
I have stats you know , ok so some of them are not real people for all I know 5 out of 6 aren't real people.

Used to have a load you know real people that is now I don't know where they have gone
Am I alone ?

Possibly
there are no writers left any more, just 15 words or less a "like" here a "share" there
Blah

I need to go to bed I think depressing myself just thinking about that

Swearing

Yes I do it, come on we all say a swear at some time or another but I don't want to read swear words specially in names of Facebook pages
 I shall put a star as really we don't need to see them
Anyway pages like this one " I'm gunna f*ck your girlfriend" or "you are all f*cked" I've seen them without the star for a U even worse the C word in a name of a page for flips sake WHY?
There is no reason to swear when there are plenty of other words, like flip for instance that we can use
of course "I'm going to flip your girlfriend" wouldn't sound quite the same now would it?
How about fak, flowers or fork? Almost sounds the same that one fork, fork fork!

Yes I realise swearing has become part of our language, I'm not that much of a prude and yes I know some of you will be calling me one but there are items we can use like stars and or shock horror a thesaurus, no that's not a dinosaur it shows you other words that mean the same and seeing as most swear words are in the dictionary now they do have "other" words that mean the same you can use.
Look you can swear in print if you want in comments its unnecessary but really to name your PAGE with a swear word in it why?
I don't see why the fork you would want to name your page something thats going to offend a pile of people.
Might get a little girly gigglesnort out of some of the young ones the Beiber fans ""o0ohh he said bottom hehehe giggle".. how old are you anyway ten?
Might get some under educated lot thinking its funny.. sorry it's not funny, just makes you look dumb because you don't know any other words to put in place of the swear.

If I drop a heavy object on my foot I can assure you I wont say FORK but a Facebook page isn't a heavy object on my foot .... one with swearing as a name is just a blot on my screen!