untitled

Every day I come across as this happy person and I'm not, "not happy Janet" not happy at all
Just plain old sad most of the time
I get so happy when someone does talk to me it lifts me you know I'm not a reacher not an attention seeker I'm not the kind of person who as soon as your name lights up on IM I'll message you, my IM is invisible all the time has to be it won't stay online stupid thing but I'm on you know I see peeps go on and off see them online but I don't message them don't know why I don't but I just don't
Its like I don't want to get close to anyone but I do need the contact sometimes, don't like being left out but its so scary to get close that I wont