Saturday, April 25, 2009

How to get more followers on twitter by being yourself

I'm confused
Yes always a little confused that's me, no seriously though I'm confused
I'm not that good or fantastic or terrific I am just ME
Not Oprah or some fancy blog journalist/expert I am just me
I do what I do, what I've always done write what I've always written and for some reason a lot of people like it, no idea why
haven't had a Twitter for very long , only really started using it in the last month or so yet I'm ranking high 91/100 no idea how, no idea why
I just don't get it I've now got 129 followers just today 15 #followfriday mentions
Averaging around 10 - 12 new followers a DAY

Yes I will follow back most Australians because I am one, yes I try to converse with people some I'm not sure of yet and they aren't sure of me we have yet to get to know each other and as I'm a bit shy ..paranoid.. non outgoing I'll just feel them for a bit ... not that way you dirty minded people gee

Who needs a fancy programme? I don't seem to need one anyway you know why because I'm myself
I'm not trying, ok sometimes I can be a little trying with the bad jokes ..what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? ..... a stick!

All I am is myself that's all I can be, no persona nothing special just myself and I'm getting followed...
You can do it as well, question is can you ?

Don't try so dang hard, don't try to be funny, don't say you are funny in your bio either most who say they are funny aren't @rove1974 is funny but it doesn't say so in his bio and he's like the most popular comedy/talk show TV show host in Australia
He doesn't try ..he just is and apparently is shorter in RL
Same goes for those who say expert of ____ in their bio, yes and I'm an expert of sarcasm too doesn't mean I put sarcasm expert as there are plenty a lot better at it than I am
Have a little humility please, unless you do happen to have a Twitter rank of 100/100 you aren't a twitter/blogging/internet marketing expert , you are just a drip under pressure (spurt)

So how do you get more followers ?
You be YOU , just like me I'm me like me or hate me (no don't hate me I'm nice really)
Be YOU and you'll get them what's that quote from Field of Dreams "build it and they will come"
That's what you do be yourself !

Course if being yourself is sitting there and waiting for folks to come to you well forget it sorry , don't be scared get out there get tweeting we wont bite, well ok maybe the #zombie league will but not much, you won't get anyone to like you or know you by sitting on your hands, use them instead see the bumpy thing with letters on it the keyboard ...use it, use it to be YOU!
And the followers will flood in, I'm serious ok you don't believe me ok then sit there do nothing except auto follow 1000 a day, see how many follow you back they wont you know if you are a hand sitter

I've talked enough, it's 4.30AM because as per the name of this blog I was fleekin interrupted while writing this, anyway you can take notes you can RT this I don't mind .....

Missy Angel
Tired but no longer so confused

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Social Network Math

Social networks and groups involve math?
Yes they do
Proportions it all comes down to proportions, the more members you have the more items get posted and I'm talking activity count here by the way.

Works anywhere, you have a group with 100 members only %10 of the members actually do anything they are the active ones the rest are lurkers they don't do anything just read
The ones that post comments or new posts is only %10, that's what (I failed math at school)'s 10 which means you need at least 100 in your group, circle what ever you have to get any more than 10 comments per post unless someone double dips, always one who does so we don't count those as 2 only 1
Count by person ok not how many

Count goes up proportionally to the amount you have on your group so say on Twitter you have 500 followers unless you've got some who are very active you'll only get 50 @replies and messages (by person remember)

Or say you have a Blogger or a Wordpress that's got 1000 readers, you'll get 100 replies day
Unfortunately it never does work by post ratio but by day that 100 comment on different posts

Course if you join up on a big fat group on a social network one that's got over 10,000 members ... come on your math is better than mine how many comments and posts is that per day? 1000
Sounds great right get a lot of feedback and activity , no see it backfires
The more active members the more idiots you get you have 1000 active members you'll have at least 10 idiots/flooders and spammers sorry but that's social network math

and this is why here I only ever get 1 or 2 comments as only 20 something people subscribe/read (possibly just subscribe and don't read) this blog

Friday, April 17, 2009

Who am I?

What you thought you knew about me but possibly didn't

Haven't done one of these for a while and there are a few people who don't know me yet, I can take a bit of getting used to
Who am I ?
I'm in my 40's was born in 1966, those without calculators can do that math in your heads
My eyes are green sometimes and sometimes blueish

I love sarcasm, zombie movies which I laugh at and horror movies which I laugh almost all the way through, comedy moves bore me unless they are Australian or English, my sense of humour is attuned that way

My spelling is atrocious but most of the time the spellchecker that I use on Firefox tells me I've spelled something wrong as for it giving me the correct spelling that's anyone's guess
I live with a large Hairy person, a dog both snore and drop hair everywhere and a budgie who keeps telling me TWEET

I don't do Christmas because it's lost it's meaning, I believe in Easter the story is true because it can be proved scientifically but the when can not be, religion is one of my blog dont's I won't talk about religion or politics as they are basically the same thing both patriarchal heieracy preaching to the lower masses
I do believe that at the end of the world everyone will live in harmony and the lion will lay down with the lamb... and the zombie will have more brains than it will ever want

I've got a reasonable IQ but never been tested, self taught typist who learned computers on a 286 I now have IT qualifications
I've not only written the newsletter for the local town I used to live in (pop 600) but did all the copy work, distributing, collating and proof reading (with my spelling that was a laugh typewriters don't have spell checks)

I watch the WWE for the Divas and The Undertaker , yes Divas first ... work that one out yourselves
and I watch Bones for David and the forensic side of things, in fact any show where they dig things up Time Team, Mummies I dig the digging shows

Lets see what else, not online to pick up men got one already besides too many good looking girls out there better looking than I am, I know I've been looking at em.

I can get your head and put it on another body, so you want to be good looking sorry can't fix your face but your body yes can change that ..have to love Adobe Photoshop
I also make Multiply themes using Adobe and CSS won't bother doing them for anywhere else though it's not worth the bother but if you want your Multiply page to look like Blogger (default white) or a Twitter (default blue) I can and have done that

I also write very bad poetry sometimes and every now and then a story or two those are on my other page if you want to read bad poems you can look here Missy's Shorts

If you want to Google me just type in Missy Angel you'll get me, all my identities start with miss
possibly because I'm always missing something, car keys, my brain and words that wont come into my head

Is that enough do you know enough now?
oh one last thing .... I'm female sorry forgot had to look and check

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Ice writes...

Continuation of Ice's writings ....

G'day mates me is a bit bigga dan dat nowe , me was small and cute but iz a bit bigga now
I gets to be inside more nowe, becoz stumpy man who wear hat ova de fence he like two mayke me go woof and den shout at me for going woof, e iz dumb human I recon you myke me do a trick you give me foods not shout at me dat is dumb I recon but I not mind becoz I gets to be inside more and ly on human bedz when dey not lookin hehehe
mye human she gets out one off da noizy things with wheels de oda day and do what she say is mow da lawn I help her I bite da noizy things wheels can not let da noizy thing make noise around my human four some reason tho she not like me bite da wheels she make da schhaa nose at me da one she make at me wen I do somting I wan ta do but she say I showd not like borrow food off da humans plate I only wanna borrow it an eat it but she make dat noize at me I not see whye she do it to me for bite da noizy thing I not wanna eat it dat silly
Da humans ar da funny fings I haf a fing that make noises a toy but it not make noises nowe human say it broke and dey like it lyke dat dey get me a new won but dey not let me bite it all da time human dey strange dey put da newe toy up so me can not get it dey straynge humans are

ICE you on the computer again... get off, schaa
good dog
Ice is a 5 year old Stumpy Tail Cattle dog, she knows a few words, one is toy of which her favourite a now non-squeaky rubber shark is almost always in her mouth the newer one which does squeak is up..dang squeak goes right though me

She doesn't like the mower or the guy next door both make noises one she bites the wheels of the other she barks at she'd want to bite his lawn mower wheels if he ever actually mowed his lawn
Ice gets to be inside because of him, he will bang on the fence just to harras her, make her bark and jump the fence only she's never jumped over she just hangs on the top, he does it on purpose so he can say she's attacking him he's that kind of person
We go for (she asleep can I say the W word?) yep asleep , we go for walks every day short ones 1/2 hour or so she's learning to ignore loose dogs and all the other barkers in the street, just calmly walks past them now and they don't bark ..pretty neat that is

The old lady with the mops with legs Maltese I think (the dogs not her) who never has her dogs on a lead we try to avoid at all costs, Ice is learning though to put nose in air and totally ignore the ratty looking things that one day will get run over (the dogs not her) because she as no control over them at all, all over the street they are total pain and she's so snotty as well you'd think they were prize winners they way she talks ugg I don't want those worn tatty mop things anywhere near my dog

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

sick of the thick

You know some people have the mental capacity of a gnat, don't know if they wear a helmet every day or the just don't think because some just don't think at all
I do a lot of answering questions about CSS it's easy CSS is you want a background that's black you put background-color: #000;
the #(hex color code) of course for black being #000
or you can put background-color: black; which is even easier
Simple right logical, same with a hover effect you get the item in the CSS you want the hover effect on and put :hover after it so say you wanted a hover effect here on Blogger you go into your template find the selector for the part you want a hover effect on
say the header wrapper which is #header-wrapper {
and after the end bracket you put #header-wrapper:hover {
with a change, I'll make this one the background but you can have what ever you like on hover as long as it's different
like this
#header-wrapper {
#header-wrapper:hover {
background-color: #000;
Basically telling the code "oi change when the mouse goes over that part"

Simple easy peasy most selectors in CSS say what they do all it is is using your brain a little and thinking about what it says, not so easy for some they want the hover effect for comments, the hover effect for links and the hover effect for the footer ... it's ALL the same thing!
You can tell one person and the next day there's another asking for hover on something else I even wrote a tutorial on hover effects Hovering or mouse over effects (updated)
and they still don't get it
What can I do it's so frustrating trying to teach those who will not think for themselves are they stupid are they thick or what ?
Don't know how many of you reading this (not a lot of you read this anyway) but how many of you "got" what was above even if you have no clue what CSS is did you understand how I explained :hover ?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Why I won't follow you back on Twitter or any other social network

Twitter kinda reminds me of the favourites feature of Yahoo 360, anyone could follow your updates and you didn't have to even look at their page which in a way was good some you didn't want to see.
Twitter of course is slightly different for one you know who's following you and how many are following, on Multiply you add contacts, on Facebook and Myspace friends
I have the same rules guidelines track what ever you want to call it as I have every where else
I fill my profile out I do stuff and I expect that back

Number #1 rule -- THE most important one
Picture, headshot avatar you have to have one I don't care if it's a pic of a bear just have one anything something, no pic means you are either to lazy or to stupid to put one in there or in the case of a few can't work out how
Either way you have to be a relation or a damn good friend that I know in RL for me to follow you if you don't have one

Right that's #1 out of the way as for the rest lets see
Political are you, US politics ? Sorry no thanks if you bothered reading what it says on my bio you would know I'm Australian and I already have Kevin Rudd on follow (if you don't know who he is you're obviously not Aussie)

Is your entire page in English or some other language?
I speak typo, a spattering of German und French (if I'm in the mood) and Australian anything else can't understand a word of it and if I've got to use a translation service for your page I just wont bother
No I'm not being racist I'm Australian we speak English, Aussie English colour, flavour that kind of English

Self Centered?
Your page is for your own adjenda is it, your Twitter only has links to your blog posts, blog posts that talk about you exclusively and nothing else ? Well unless you are a high ranking celeb like Bill Shatner you can wallow in your self because you by yourself you bore me

Just how old are you anyway? Tweets and status messages that say "drikin iz gggggr8" or " big hugggggs" are reserved for those under 20 , if you are over 20 you went to school before TXT'ing became popular you know all your words and letters use them or get your keyboard fixed your "g" is sticking (or maybe mine is)
Oh and I'm not your mother either I don't have any more than two children, so unless you are naturally blond aged 19 or 21 and over 6 foot tall you ain't one of mine.

Do something
Does your Twitter have less than 5 tweets? Your blog empty? Your status devoid of anything but applications? You realise that you are so boring you bore yourself don't you dang it do you even know what a keyboard is? It's the bumpy thing with letters on it you press them and type words
Obviously you can't type anything or you'd have something there
Yours is empty ? Ok then don't expect me to be interested in you or expect me to type for you I ain't gonna do it (see above NOT your mother)

and lastly spam
Only spam I like comes canned, I don't need viagra I'm not that old yet thank you, I will not buy anything from you either, you can even come to my front door if you like doors shut in your face
Flooders same once is nice, twice is maybe a mistake but three or more of the same is flooding and floods will be sandbagged with a little feature I like to call "block" or ignore and delete , if you are really bad it's called report,
call me at 3am on my home phone with abuse and its called police report!

I might follow you back if, you are funny because I love a laugh sarcasm and sense of humour a must, you have something to say that's not about yourself, I know you or knew you in RL or you stand behind me and twist my arm till I do (stalkers not included)

So there we go , to summarise for those who skim
Fill it out, speak in English, be funny, use sentences, talk about other things than yourself and don't go overboard because no ones going to throw you a life raft in fact I might may even throw rocks at you

Missy Angel (not my real name)

Lover of sarcasm and writer of bad rhymes

Monday, April 13, 2009

now that is called a BIG whoops

You know what I did don't you
I turned off replies on my page here because I had an annoyance who kept flood posting comments anyway I turned them off and forgot to put them back set them as "had to be authorised" or something
You know I've been wondering why no one was commenting on anything
course why no one told me up till now I don't know maybe nothing was worth it .. oh well
anyway comments are now back on not anonymouse comments though because I don't want that nuisance flooding me again

Hey why can I smell bacon cooking when I'm not cooking anything? Ok now that is totally weird

...... gone looking for the source of bacon smell

It don't click with me

You know I've been on Yahoo a long time, used 360 for a long time as well and yes I did notice the cliques on there little gangs that stick together like glue always commenting on each others posts all the time but since joining Multiply I noticed it even more the x360ites are cliquey, mega hugely cliquey
The little circles are completely round no one gets in or out

The cliques flow over into other places of course they do because hardly anyone uses 360 any more, Twitter, MySpace and Facebook always the same gang of people with the same gang of followers/friends/contacts
It doesn't matter how interesting they are it's the same ones over and over "hugs and kisses darling" "nice post" blah blah meaningless dribble in the comment area but because they are part of the clique that dribble is acknowledged anyone who isn't part of the "inner circle" is totally ignored even if it is dribble if you aren't "in" you may as well be out

So that's why with a lot of the old ones from 360 I've stopped following, I wont comment I don't even acknowledge their presence I'm 42 years old this is no school yard it's the internet I'll never meet these people in person, some I'm not interested in meeting in person well one or two I wouldn't mind but most they are so inward with themselves and their friends that they don't peak my interest at all

I say good luck to them really because the same people the same things for years is boring , I'm doing different things I'm meeting (online) different people every day opposite to my RL I am outgoing online the one thing though that I do have in RL and online I can't stand cliques

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

The more you know about computers the less you want to know

There are a few things I do and a few I don't when it comes to computering
some have a number for reference

I don't
I don't do auto updates, don't let any programme do auto updates except AVG [1]
I don't let windows save my passwords
I don't save History for more than 3 days
I don't save cookies
I don't let some programmes start when windows starts [2]
I don't install toolbars that come included with programme installs[4]
I don't use Internet Explorer[4]
I don't believe every email I see Snopes link or not
I don't blindly click links

I do
Set AVG to scan everyday and do auto updates
I clear all cookies when I close Firefox
Firefox is set to ask me about cookies from sites not just allow everything
I run three, yes three cleaner programmes Crap Cleaner, Window Washer and Powerfull Cookies
I hover over links before I click them to see where they go
Windows Firewall is ON
Remote Assistance and Remote Desktop is OFF [5]
I store files on a separate hard drive to the one Windows is on
I backup regularly onto CD

[1] No I don't do auto updates, they slow your computer down and most times want to re-start when finished I do updates when I want not when the computer says I should, who's operating this thing anyway I am TYVM
[2] Any programme that starts when Windows starts will slow your start up process so Yahoo, CD Burner, the printer and Word should NEVER start when windows starts
[3] A lot of programmes come with extra toolbars, they are not needed or used so I tick the box (or untick it) and do not install them
[4] Internet Explorer does not conform to web standards and has too many leaks, I use Firefox I can block the things that IE lets through
[5] You know how Remote Assistance works don't you? That's someone else getting into your computer if it's on anymone can get in when you aren't looking

So you might think I'm a little paranoid but I know how things work, I know about open ports, tracing cookies, crackers and hackers doesn't mean I can get into yours it means I know how to stop others getting into mine

If you don't know how to set your History or set up anything on any browser or your computer you should know if you are online and that's online on anything including your phone, you should know how to clear History and cookies at least

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