Why I won't follow you back on Twitter or any other social network

Twitter kinda reminds me of the favourites feature of Yahoo 360, anyone could follow your updates and you didn't have to even look at their page which in a way was good some you didn't want to see.
Twitter of course is slightly different for one you know who's following you and how many are following, on Multiply you add contacts, on Facebook and Myspace friends
I have the same rules guidelines track what ever you want to call it as I have every where else
I fill my profile out I do stuff and I expect that back

Number #1 rule -- THE most important one
Picture, headshot avatar you have to have one I don't care if it's a pic of a bear just have one anything something, no pic means you are either to lazy or to stupid to put one in there or in the case of a few can't work out how
Either way you have to be a relation or a damn good friend that I know in RL for me to follow you if you don't have one

Right that's #1 out of the way as for the rest lets see
Political are you, US politics ? Sorry no thanks if you bothered reading what it says on my bio you would know I'm Australian and I already have Kevin Rudd on follow (if you don't know who he is you're obviously not Aussie)

Language
Is your entire page in English or some other language?
I speak typo, a spattering of German und French (if I'm in the mood) and Australian anything else can't understand a word of it and if I've got to use a translation service for your page I just wont bother
No I'm not being racist I'm Australian we speak English, Aussie English colour, flavour that kind of English

Self Centered?
Your page is for your own adjenda is it, your Twitter only has links to your blog posts, blog posts that talk about you exclusively and nothing else ? Well unless you are a high ranking celeb like Bill Shatner you can wallow in your self because you by yourself you bore me

Age
Just how old are you anyway? Tweets and status messages that say "drikin iz gggggr8" or " big hugggggs" are reserved for those under 20 , if you are over 20 you went to school before TXT'ing became popular you know all your words and letters use them or get your keyboard fixed your "g" is sticking (or maybe mine is)
Oh and I'm not your mother either I don't have any more than two children, so unless you are naturally blond aged 19 or 21 and over 6 foot tall you ain't one of mine.

Do something
Does your Twitter have less than 5 tweets? Your blog empty? Your status devoid of anything but applications? You realise that you are so boring you bore yourself don't you dang it do you even know what a keyboard is? It's the bumpy thing with letters on it you press them and type words
Obviously you can't type anything or you'd have something there
Yours is empty ? Ok then don't expect me to be interested in you or expect me to type for you I ain't gonna do it (see above NOT your mother)

and lastly spam
Only spam I like comes canned, I don't need viagra I'm not that old yet thank you, I will not buy anything from you either, you can even come to my front door if you like doors shut in your face
Flooders same once is nice, twice is maybe a mistake but three or more of the same is flooding and floods will be sandbagged with a little feature I like to call "block" or ignore and delete , if you are really bad it's called report,
call me at 3am on my home phone with abuse and its called police report!

I might follow you back if, you are funny because I love a laugh sarcasm and sense of humour a must, you have something to say that's not about yourself, I know you or knew you in RL or you stand behind me and twist my arm till I do (stalkers not included)

So there we go , to summarise for those who skim
Fill it out, speak in English, be funny, use sentences, talk about other things than yourself and don't go overboard because no ones going to throw you a life raft in fact I might may even throw rocks at you


Missy Angel (not my real name)

Lover of sarcasm and writer of bad rhymes