Last Straw

I know people lurk here its the only place that is open

No one knows me, no one really bothers to get to know me
I know where I am not wanted so I left
Its been coming for a while I realized quite a while ago that I wasn't wanted anymore and this time was the last straw
When you try to say why and people don't even care thats when you know they don't want you around

Mandy Moore Lyrics

There are some things that people will never know about me and why should I tell them anyway its me that obviously has a problem and I know I do I have a problem I have a problem with the childishness on 360 the cliques that I know I'm not in, I'm not wanted anymore and that is why I left
You know I try to be happy all the time I really do but basically I'm just so sad inside all the time
If I don't go back people won't care they didn't want me anyway
I could die and there wouldn't be a single person even care

Who am I?

A blog topic brought to you by Jeepers
My name is Missy A, subject to change but most times Missy A … A for Anything? No A for Angel only the angel part attracts men of middle eastern origin for some reason so seeing as I don’t need an oil rich guy from AOE I try not to use the Angel part
My real name is Fran or Frances and no I’m not telling my married last name or my maiden name either
My home is in Australia, lived here for 35 years yet I can’t get an Australian passport or vote because I wasn’t born after 20 August 1986 or turned 18 before 1984 (“missed it by that much” –Maxwell Smart) I turned 18 on July 4th ‘85
I can and do make animations and Photoshop up pictures for people
I can do PC help and I have the paperwork to prove it, even though I didn’t touch a computer till I was in my 30’s as all the computers I’d come in contact with before that where cumbersome huge things that seemed to do nothing, I now have a certificate in IT.
I can now rip the guts out of a computer and put it all back together and do spreadsheets and databases and make little programmes.
I can’t do math at all, have to get out the calculator or use my fingers to add 2 and 2 together
I have 2 children one boy (19) one girl (17) they both live with their father in South Australia over 1000 ks away
I’ve done dog training classes with my little dog Linda and won prizes in dog obedience, well ok the dog won the prizes but I did the training I even trained the cat to sit and stay and speak … did you know cats can speak? They can they can say meeeeet and meeeeout.
I’ve sold Avon, worked picking grapes and worked as volunteer at a Community Center where I received a recognition award from the Governor of South Australia in the field of women’s help groups and ran the Op Shop or 2nd hand shop
I learned to weld and do woodwork at school and to drive a tractor, I can’t ride a motorbike but I can ride a horse and I can ice skate and roller blade just don’t ask me to roller-skate I fall over
It says bi on my MySpace not because I’m bipolar but because I am bi, funny thing is it’s always guys who try and chat me up, sorry fellas (no Word spell checker not fleas, fellas) but really you have no chance.
I wrote and ran the local newsletter for the town I lived in for 3 years, totally by myself I wrote articles, printed and collated, folded and collected money for donations and advertising and of course placed piles of the newsletter in shops and businesses every month and didn’t get paid a single cent.
I love to cook but hate washing dishes
My plants grow easily I can grow things just by looking at them
Most times I have 4 web pages open, one on 360° one for MySpace, another on Blogger/Google and one on another Forum site, sometimes even Imeem or Facebook but I don’t like Facebook that much
Sometimes I write bad poetry
Sometimes I find things difficult to remember, I need a re-caller, a mechanism to help me remember or I’ll just walk off into the kitchen and remember by the time I’ve come back.
So don’t ask me who wrote that song or starred in what movie because even though I’ve heard it or watched it I just can’t remember.
My eyes are green; my hair is long and streaked with grey
And you can call me Missy A
(I told you I wrote bad poetry)

My Inspiration

For those who don't read my shorts here is the link you might want to read this (Long Lost Love Found)
I find it difficult to find inspiration sometimes but there is one particular person who has inspired me to write here and here (The Eagles Shadow and The Eyes)
A woman who I hope won't ever stop writing won't ever stop being who she is and that's her own creative self
She's funny, serious and bueatiful I know she's going to say that she's not but I think she is its an inner bueaty that shines from within and I'm happy because she is, happy in a crying sort of happy so happy that you cry happy that kind of happy.
She's a big sweet kind generous person with such a sensitive heart she is my inspiration and she just got married and I might not look like I'm happy for her but I am I really am.
Dana I'm going to miss you but you are happy which means that I am too and that big hunk of a guy had better look after you or I'll be after him along with your brothers
I may be little but I've got a very big stick!

Read and then scroll down to the bottom of the page

Sometimes you just get presents out of the blue for no reason at all you just get them and the other day well I got one its at the bottom of the page here, pretty neat huh
Susan made that for me pretty cool I recon

Oh you want to see something really scary?

That really old looking fella is my X he's 46
He allways was a bit grey he had a grey streak when I met him when he was 25 but geeze now he's totally grey.

I've been asking people on 360 how old he is and only ZFrog and Jeepers have come close most are saying in the 60's

Here is a very small badly scanned wedding picture (1986)
Yes he IS dark in that photo

Can't find the picture that I wanted a family one, one of those proffessional ones he isn't so dark on that, it has to be on disk somewhere as I won't have uploaded it because the kids are small on it doesn't matter I'll find it later
No he's not Aborigional well don't think so anyway have my suspicions that his grandfather was part Aborigional though as when the family tree was recearched they came to a full stop at grandad but granma could be traced back for like 10 generations
See if grandad was adopted (read one of the stolen generation of Aborigional children) then they wouldn't find anything would they and I've seen a picture of him and well he's very dark and ol Kenny boy (my X) has an uncle who is the spitting image of him he looks Aborigional as well so it wouldn't suprise me
Grandad would have been born in about the right time frame but there is no way of finding out not now
Both my X and my daughter go very dark after about 5 mins outside I burn my son burns they go tanned very tanned as you can see, he's very tanned looks funny in the summer time as its only his arms up to his elbows and his face and neck the rest of him is white and now his hair matches .
I shouldn't laugh at the poor old bugger he's only 6 years older than me I'm grey myself now but damn not THAT grey

Family

I was going to post something else here but I've forgotten what it is, got a bit upset before and its given me a headache for those of you who can't read my Little Fairy blog its all about family basically
Ok OK allready, I'll grab it for you
I even checked my hotmail and theres a tiny message from my brother there in with all the spam stuff that that email is full of as well, he's here in Austraila again his email said "here for 2 weeks did you know your dad is sick"
Thats it, nothing else I didn't reply I know my dad is sick he has parkinsons I know he's sick, my mother has my mobile number she has our house number but do I get phone calls? No I don't
I talk to my daughter on MySpace my mother don't tell her anything either
It annoys me everyday Adrians family is on the phone to him every single day "hello how you going, you ok" birthdays they call each other, new years the phones go mad, christmas the phones go mad but not my family I get nothing no birthday cards, not even a christmas card and you can forget phone calls as much as I hate talking to my mother on the phone ( you can put the phone down and walk away come back 5 mins later she's still going on about something no idea what and has NO idea you left) and in IM she's worse I won't IM with her, you could be there all day but hey it would be nice you know for her to ring me I've been here 4 years and never ever has she rung me my X has drunk of course but not my mother, I get TXT's from my daughter and I don't expect my mother to be able to work out TXT'ing but dang she knows how to use a phone and she knows I don't have enough credit on my phone to ring her
I would love to go home right now my dad is sick my brother is there and I haven't seem him in years (he lives in the UK) but I just can't my car is broken down and the cost well it would cost $500 at least we don't have that i'm stuck here with his family ringing him every day and it makes me so sad inside

see I don't have anyone here not RL people only the people online and I can sit here feeling so danged alone sometimes, not that I had any friends where I was before the kids loved me allways had a house full of other peoples kids or my X's friends but never any of my own, I didn't go anywhere wasn't wanted and I'm not even wanted by my own family